never knows best

Not much to really update on. Still haven't heard back on my case and I'm guessing I won't until after the holidays. I was supposed to have a clinical screening last week but the study was canceled. Now I'm supposed to have another one in a few weeks, and the study will start at the end of the month. Fingers crossed that one doesn't get canceled, but I'll have to borrow money from my folks regardless.

I find myself expending a lot of energy to distract from the shitty situation that I find myself in.

I've only written one verse in the past month. This constant feeling of dread is not helping the creative juices at all.

I need to ease up on my computer usage because it's starting to bother my wrists.

Everyday is exactly the same.

The end of the year is creeping up and things are still moving at a snails pace.

Saw the insurance companies doc, who gave me this whole "I cannot give you any advice because I am not your practicing physician" which is whatever, since I technically don't have a practicing physician. In any case things are now waiting for both sides to get in the doctors report and prepare a case and then reconvene with a judge.

The next status update as I understand it will be in "three to six weeks" which doesn't do a damn thing for me in the meantime. But I suppose that's how the last 8-9 months of my life have been. The court date that was quoted to me from the secretary is "Feb 11th" but I really hope that's a placeholder because bankruptcy is getting way too close for comfort.

And on that front, I've been looking into clinical testing that pays out. Even a simple several day study could yield a few hundred bucks, which is enough to keep me floating for another month. As such I've been getting my name out there. I've got a lot more of that to be doing this week.

On the music front it's the same old story. 3 projects now sit waiting until I can escape my current living situation.

I need to start thinking about my top 10 list for games/music for 2009.

Until next time

g$h

Still 2 more weeks until the next doctors appointment.

Been killing time by playing a lot of video games.

Policenauts (finished)
Snatcher (finished)
Brutal Legend (finished)
Batman: Arkham Asylum (finished)
Axel & Pixel (finished)
Team Fortress 2
Machinarium
Atelier Annie

gamefly should be getting me Afrika today

but I'm looking forward to the campy awfulness of Jurassic: The Hunted more.

oh, and I need to write 2 more verses for this 12 minute concept mixtape I'm working on (not that I can record it mind you)

and Windows 7 is nice.

So the "permanency" case rolls along. Today I saw a doctor that was required by my lawyer. (Next month I see a doctor as required by the insurance company) And as is my understanding this is to gauge how much the injury is affecting my life and therefore how much they will have to (eventually) pay me.

Granted I plan to use the money to find a better doctor and have my case re-opened (and have 2 years in which to do this), but that is neither here nor there at the moment I suppose.

My issue (besides getting lost on the way to the office) is in the fact that the whole thing seemed like a big rush job. They get me in there and I spend a few minutes talking to the assistant about what I've gone through, the doctors I've seen and such. Then she asks if there is anything like hobbies that this is preventing me from doing.

So then I go see the doctor, he spends maybe 3 minutes having me do basic stretches, looks over my MRI and says it's normal (I'm used to this by now) and then sends me on my way. This is pretty much a direct contrast of just about every other doctor I've seen, and really struck me as odd.

I was really ready to go in there today and complain to my hearts content, and they totally blocked me on it by barely asking me anything and rushing me through the whole thing. I may give my lawyer a call and complain about it, but the last thing I need is them making another far off appointment somewhere else. It's bad enough I don't see the insurance companies doctor until mid-november.

At this point I'm just trying to stay afloat financially. My lawyer has told me to sign up for vocational rebab, and with a month and a half until my next doctors appointment I just may do that. The main problem there is I really don't know what I'm going to do now and my fear is that they'll try to shove me into some low level job garbage job. While I would appreciate any money coming in, I worry for my sanity in that kind of situation, as I'm really not a people person.

Music-wise I'm basically sitting on 2 written albums at the moment, and I may start beat hunting for the next as long as I can't record them.

Video game wise I've been playing Katamari Forever and Mario & Luigi 3

Meh

I swear I tell myself every day "Dude, update your stupid blog", and yet I have been very lackadaisical when it comes to actually updating.

See also: nothing fucking changes.

Went to see a neurosurgeon this morning, and his opinion was the same one that I've been hearing since I was originally hurt. "I have no idea what is wrong with you"

Maybe I should start updating on what games I've been playing... Maybe.

I've been meaning to write a blog post for at LEAST a week now, but I keep falling asleep instead.

When we last left our intrepid hero, he was dealing with FCE bullshit and all that entailed. Well here's how it went down. After the FCE results, the doctors claimed I had reached "maximum medical improvement" and discharged me. Keep in mind I'm still hurt and they basically just decided that I cannot be fixed. Shortly after this they decided to stop paying me. Shortly after that I go to a neurologist and get assessed and get another EMG (normal results) and a report that says the doctor believes the injury was work related and there were other treatment options that could be pursued.

Then a long ordeal of waiting around for the lawyer to get the doctors report (and finally saying FUCK IT and getting it from the doctor myself) and now the waiting begins for a court date. With any luck this should be sooner rather than later as I'm not at the mercy of an inept bookkeeper.

Then maybe I can finally get paid for the first time in 2.5 months. (Also, retro-pay!) This has become most worrying because another month and I would be 100% broke.

Back to the falling asleep thing... The new doctor put me on Cymbalta starting March 30th. After being on it this long all I've really been able to ascertain is that it makes me very sleepy, ALL THE TIME. Now I'm sure some of this has to do with the fact that it's interacting with the Lyrica that I'm already on. Needless to say it's easy to lose track of days when you spend a good chunk of them napping. (Also I've been on Allegra-D due to this ridiculous amount of pollen in the air this year, and I never usually have allergy problems)

So you might say, what does this mean for music? Well I'm still in the same living situation so I really can't record. I can count the amount of times both my parents were out of the house at the same time for any extended period in the last month on one hand. My throat being all screwy from allergies the past few weeks is also not helping. That being said despite the constant sleeping and not recording, I am still WORKING on music. Mostly tweaking the new album a bunch, and shaping it up to be the best possible thing I can make it before I even sit down to record it. After that I'm already brainstorming my next project which will be much more of a mixtape type thing, but I'm not really ready to reveal any details on that yet.

With any luck these will both be 2009 projects. I can't make any promises only because you never know which direction life is going to lead you.

But right now, it's leading me back to sleep.

Ah shit, how did I miss new TKRMX?

Arcade Mixtape

This guy is mad talented, and I've been bumping his Megaman mixtape for awhile, so go check it out.

In other news, more new songs being written, this album is getting a bit bloated.